Another book review from the draft post archives!
Apologies to Helen Rebanks (the author) and to Camilla (who was gracious enough to mail out copies to us) regarding this late, late, post. Camilla featured the book, recipes, and comments in late November 2023! (I was able to send her a blurb and a photo of me and the book for her post though. Again, apologies! You can check out that post here.) I recently found a draft in my archives and wanted to at least get the word out about this charming book. (Better late than never. Really, Debra? More than a year later?) It was a Lit Happens Book Club selection and I did have it read in time for that event (again back in 2023)….
About the book:
A heartfelt, unvarnished reflection on the power of domestic life.
Helen Rebanks’ beautifully written memoir takes place across a single day on her working farm in the Lake District of England. Weaving past and present, through a journey of self-discovery, the book takes us from the farmhouse table of her grandmother and into the home she now shares with her husband, James, their four kids, and an abundance of animals.
With honesty and grace, Helen shares her life in days—sometimes a wonder and a joy, others a grind to be survived—weaving in stories that read like a well-written pastoral novel. The Farmer’s Wife is a book about the love of life, the nourishing simplicity of everyday work, and sharing stories around a family table full of good food.
Full of gentle wisdom, this book is an honest portrait of rural life and an authentic exploration of both the hard work and reward of keeping a home and raising a family—even though the job is often thankless and invisible.
Also included are simple recipes and dozens of guilt-free “Survival Mode” meal ideas.
About the author:
Helen Rebanks was born and raised on a farm in the English Lake District. Her family has been farming for many generations. Her parents kept dairy cows, beef cattle and sheep. Her grandfather bred pedigree Clydesdale horses. She has a first class honors degree in Fine Art and she worked in Oxford before becoming a full time farmer’s wife and mother to four children in Cumbria.
Helen runs the farm with her husband James who is also an author—The Shepherd’s Life (2015), Pastoral Song (2020), and The Place of Tides (2024). Together they keep Belted Galloway cattle and Herdwick Sheep on their farm near lake Ullswater.
Helen and James are passionate advocates for the future of family farms and share their knowledge about regenerative farming methods at international events, and on courses they run at their farm.
Helen regularly cooks for groups that visit the farm using homegrown ingredients and local produce.
The Farmer’s Wife is her first book.
What I thought…
Days that bind.
This memoir is truly a lyrical yet honest depiction of farm life. While some days can be idyllic and romantic (if you search for it), most days are filled with dawn-to-dusk work and just trying to get by.
The Rebanks run a farm with twenty chickens, fifty head of cattle, six sheepdogs, and 500 sheep. (Oh, and a couple of ponies and some swine and a litter of puppies.) I somehow imagine that these herds have grown since the book was published.
As Rebanks depicts her present life, she often reflects on what could have been. What could she have done with that MFA degree? What would her life be like without this family? In response to her father’s overused adage of “You made your bed now lie in it,” she writes:
…that hard old saying doesn’t offer any possibility for change. It suggests that a bed, or life, is made once and then is fixed like that forever. It suggests that you can’t ever grow or change but must simply suffer and endure. But I think we make our beds anew every day—life is really a constant remaking and reshaping of ourselves and our days. (4)
I find that outlook so hopeful.
The introduction and the first chapter were just lyrical; I felt like I was reading poetry. I was hoping she would keep this style up throughout the book but then life and struggles got in the way and her voice became more realistic. (That sounds like criticism as I write it but I enjoyed both her idyllic writing and her practical realism.)
Rebanks’ view on those days that bind is one of hope. Her stream-of-consciousness short sentences, makes the work often read like a prose poem. This style is especially evident in the first part of the book and whenever she talks about her family farm. She does not shy away from relaying the harshness and hardships of this life: “I am always feeding or watering someone or something” (6). The rush of lambing season is brutal. As the sheep’s needs are put above all others, this time offers lessons that teach her children about life and death.
When Rebanks describes the farm and family’s history, it reminded me of mine. It didn’t matter that one was in the heartland of the U.S. and one was in the Lake District of England. The struggles and hard work were similar. I grew up on a farm and saw how much work both my grandmothers and my mother put in. It’s a stressful life. It’s also very stressful on marriages. I was impressed that Rebanks was able to put some poetry to it.
Rebanks shares several recipes that hold deep personal meaning for her and her family and one that was prominent was marmalade making. Fruit had to be secured (which seemed to be a tradition unto itself) and then the multi-day process commenced.
Can you think of a recipe from your own life that holds a special memory or connects you to a significant moment or person? Can you identify scenes or character interactions that exemplify this theme? Mine are Mom’s pecan pie, Grandma’s fruitcake, Grandmother’s green tomato relish, Uncle Chuck’s spicy dill pickles….
Rebanks makes these memories and recipes come to life.
I know the marmalade making had to be stressful for her mother (with the mother-in-law looking over her shoulder) but I had to smile at those scenes. Maybe her mother’s recollection of marmalade making weren’t necessarily joyous but I bet they were memorable.
I did think it was odd that her husband, James Rebanks (“bestselling author”), was quoted on the front and the back of the book blurbs. I was more impressed that Nick Offerman was quoted.
Besides the family recipe memories this book sparked for me (see above), I was also reminded of frigid dark mornings mixing up powdered milk from a 50 lb. bag to feed bottle calves before I went to school or nights in my grandfather’s barn “helping” him and my dad pull a calf in sub-zero temperatures.
You don’t have to have a rural background to appreciate this book. I hope you pick it up.
I really did enjoy this book. I usually like to make some recipe inspired by or directly taken from the book to accompany the post. While there are many recipes worth highlighting in The Farmer’s Wife, they are still marked with post-it notes. (And, I have still not gotten to around that yet either.)
I’m also linking up with Foodies Read for January.

Your memories of your own life and your family are much more memorable than what you say about the book. I’m so glad you unearthed this piece of writing and didn’t let it go unread and unappreciated.
Thanks for all the comments on my posts… mae at maefood.blogspot.com
Thanks for posting!
Thanks for being understanding when it was due and using my comments from Lit Happens! I do love this book.
I enjoyed this memoir when we read it and I appreciate the insight into your childhood as well.
This does sound like it could be an interesting read! Thanks for sharing it.
[…] I mostly participate in. I’ve only done three plus the very late one I recently revisited, The Farmer’s Wife (which was a Lit Happens feature a few years ago), so I decided to post about our current January […]